As I’ve said before, naturally I’m quite a negative person. I don’t mean that I’m a horrible person. I mean that I prepare for the worst. I’m a worrier, a what-if-this-happened kind of gal. Recently I’ve been trying to change this as it’s not a healthy way to live and I don’t want Jack to grow up the same way. So I’ve been quite literally forcing myself to think positively about things and well so far it’s been working. It feels like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
One of the things that I had noticed about my worrying days was that I would always worry/panic over things when I wasn’t busy, when I was just sitting still. The T.V. may have been on but in my head I’m just pondering away about all the stupid little things that could go wrong in life. So I’ve been keeping myself busy (which is quite easy with a toddler), mainly with little daily tasks and cleaning. I seem to have morphed into some kind of Monica from Friends as I am cleaning all the time and actually enjoying it. I’ve never felt better, I don’t have time to dwell or worry about anything because as soon as I stop my tasks I am quite literally asleep. Also there’s a lovely sense of accomplishment looking at the lovely and clean flat (that is until Jack destroys it again hehe).
Not only has it helped me mentally but it has helped me physically too. Anyone that knows me personally, will know that I have always struggled to put on weight. (Don’t start with the ‘she’s so lucky’ comments – let’s not go there today!) My whole life I have always been borderline underweight. It’s not a choice, it’s just the way I am. Since I have been thinking more positively, I have had a much bigger appetite and have even started to fill out a bit!
So basically what I’m trying to get across here is the way you think really does affect the way you feel mentally and physically. This may be common knowledge to most but to me this is all shiny and new. Personally after being on either side, the positive outlook is a much better place to be.
I am hoping that this new outlook will help inspire & motivate me to draw as a lot of the ‘fear’ of starting a new drawing comes from worrying on whether it will look right and whether people will like it. Anyone else got any tips as a form of free therapy? Or is it just me that likes being a clean freak?